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Tuesday, 30 November 2010

Christmas Pudding Is A Piece Of Cake

I've agreed to make a cake for a friend in the shape of a teapot.  I've never made and iced a spherical cake before and I wanted a practice run, so this evening I made this
Not half bad considering my butter cream went all stiff due to the cold weather and my icing attempt was interrupted by a man at the door enquiring as to whether I had received my government grant for loft insulation or not.  The irony was not lost on me as he was stood on my doorstep in sub-zero temperatures with snow on the ground trying to talk to me about the importance of adequate insulation whilst letting all my heat out of the front door!


Anyway, as usual, I digress.  The great thing about this trial is that we get to eat a great big cake in the shape of a Christmas pudding, yummy and festive, what better way to kick off December?!

Christmas Presence

Well, December is almost upon us and we are on the home stretch to the big day.  Thankfully I finished all my gift shopping this month so I don't have to venture into a shopping centre until after the January sales (I really hate sale shopping, I swear they just wheel racks of miscellaneous tat out as I can never find anything that was in the shops before Christmas).  


This year, for the first time, we're not having anyone over for Christmas Day so I can truly relax and enjoy the build up and Buster and Missy's excitement, which is gift enough for me during the festivities.  All I have left to do is wrap (another pet hate) and dish out the gifts, write and post the cards (I always say 'next year I'm not doing cards, I'll make a donation to charity instead', it never happens - next year!), do the food shop and purchase and decorate the tree.


I haven't broken out the Christmas songs yet, I find that dark, cosy evenings in with the Phil Spector (I know he's convicted murderer but he certainly knew how to exploit young black singers for his wall of sound!) Christmas Album and a nice mug of cocoa make the gift wrapping process a more enjoyable and festive-feeling experience.


Before we had Missy we used to have a huge real tree in our bay window, this year we're only having a small one and it will be in our dining room as our lounge is overrun with toys and a massive playpen, which is a shame but maybe next year normal service can be resumed.
Buster and Mr Right putting the star
on the top of our tree a couple of years ago
As I've mentioned in other posts, I've been compiling a list of things I love and things I hate, as a general rule Christmas is usually firmly in the 'hate' column as I don't enjoy the sheer organisation it requires, a responsibility that rests firmly on my shoulders, but now that I have finished the shopping and I don't have the stress of hosting the big day I feel I can actually sit back and enjoy the build up vicariously through my kids, after all it's all about them when you become a parent isn't it?


Right, I'm off up into the loft to locate the Advent Calendars, even Missy has one this year!  I wish someone would buy me one, I will have to content myself with the countdown chalkboard I bought from Marks and Spencer, it has the 24 days to cross off on one side and on the other is space to write a note to Father Christmas, I know what I will be asking the big man for...
I may have to purchase a bigger stocking!
UPDATE:  Mr Right surprised me with an M&S advent calendar today, how sweet, and even better I got to eat the first four chocolates in one go!

Hiber-notion

This week I have decided I would very much like to hibernate.  I have even skipped the gym because it's too cold to go back out again in the evening and I certainly don't even want to think about wearing only one layer of anything especially lycra.  


As soon as the kids are in bed I am off to my nest to get cosy.  My old UGGs have been relegated for use as slippers and I really don't want to take them off before I climb into bed as my cankles feel exposed, would it be wrong to sleep in them?


The signals are all there as if I should sleep through the winter, I have been craving comfort food as if I am about to hibernate.  I'm feeling the need to eat carbs and plenty of them, need to lay down that layer of fat if I'm to survive the winter.  Yesterday I made a chicken and mushroom pie which we ate with loads of spuds, I'm thinking casseroles with dumplings and soups with muchos bread for the rest of the week.  Oh and I simply must make a crumble or rice pudding, it's the law!


I have also been cultivating my leg hair as an extra layer of insulation or is it just laziness and the fact that I don't want to hang about in our freezing cold bathroom (our mouthwash had ice crystals in it at the weekend!) any longer than I have to?


So if this is my last blog post for a few months you'll know that I have given in to my baser instinct and slept this one out.  Have a great Christmas and New Year and don't forget to wake me in the spring!

Monday, 29 November 2010

Money For Velvet Rope

Again I was in Marks and Sparks the other day (I seem to spend my life in there at the moment, unfortunately not for me) and was perusing the cosmetics when the Tess Daly make-up range caught my eye and it got me wondering, when exactly did Ms Daly find the time to study cosmetic production?  Does she have a qualification in this subject, probably not, although I'm sure there are loads of people out there that do and can't get a gig like Marks'.  She probably knows about as much as I do about the subject (ie not much!).


The same goes for the likes of Fearne Cotton (with her make-up range for Boots and clothing line for Very) and Holly Willoughby (with her clothing line also for Very).  It's not like these celebs are actually trained in fashion design but I know there are thousands of very talented people that are.  These celebs might appear in glossy magazines because people admire their style but that's usually because their star is on the rise and everything they wear will be fashionable because, to paraphrase Zoolander, 'they're so hot right now'.  Fearne could emerge from her house wearing a bin bag tomorrow morning and half the teenage population would follow suit.


Myleene Klass and Denise Van Outen are another couple of celebs that have sold their souls, just because you squeeze out a baby doesn't automatically make you an expert on maternity and baby wear.  I know lots of women that have far more maternal experience than either of those women and do they get offered a lucrative contract with Mothercare or Very?  The answer, of course, is no.


I understand that this type of promotion is a marriage made in heaven for companies and celebrities alike but it just seems to me that if you're a popular celebrity you can turn your hand to pretty much anything, you don't have to be an expert and you will be paid royally to do it.  Money for velvet rope!


I just wish that it wasn't all such a lie, you can bet your bottom dollar that Tess doesn't just wear make-up from her Marks and Spencer range and that Fearne and Holly will only wear their Very collections.


And what can I say about the JLS range of condoms?  Am I wrong in thinking that men wear them?  If I was a man, nothing would cool my ardour quicker than Marvin's mug grinning at me from the front of the box.  Puts a whole new slant on the term 'member' of a band!
I didn't know that JLS stood for Johnnies, Lube and Spermicide!

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Would You Buy This Shit?

Whilst Christmas shopping in good old Marks and Sparks last week Mr Right and I happened upon these products endorsed by the Natural History Museum




The Rhino poo in a box will allegedly grow a banana tree plant and I just know that Buster would love the notebook as apparently it's made out of Elephant poop but at £5 a pop he can write his notes on loo paper if he wants a poo theme!

Coffee Is For Mugs

I wish I understood the nation's obsession with coffee.  Mr Right has been obsessed with the stuff for as long as I have known him.  He owns so much coffee paraphernalia that our home looks like a branch of Starbucks, he has an espresso maker, a percolator, two cafetieres (small and large), a stove-top espresso maker, electric and manual coffee grinders.  Then there's the coffee itself, coffee beans, ground coffee, instant coffee, filter coffee.  He'd even like to try Kopi Luwak (coffee beans that are first eaten and then excreted by monkeys - bleugh!).


Mr Right has a saying 'coffee before kids', which we all know is a joke, but whenever we are out being part of civilisation he will first make a beeline for the nearest Costa for a Medium Skinny Latte (god, even the terminology sounds lame), maybe it's the only way he can deal with having to be part of civilisation.  I know that Mrs B can only get going after her morning cup of Joe, does this substance have magical powers?  Not on me it doesn't!


My Dad is another coffee junkie.  He used to have so much in a day that it would give him palpitations and, for a time, had to switch to decaf.  He still to this day will offer me a coffee when I go to visit.  When I decline he says 'you don't know what you're missing!'  When I remind him that I don't actually like coffee, he follows up with 'you'll grow to like it', Dad, I'm 36, I don't think it's gonna happen.  I know that palates change as you age and I now have a love of stinky cheese that I couldn't tolerate at all when I was younger, but I think coffee, like red wine, for me is a non-starter.  Don't get me wrong, there is a place for coffee, it's just that that place is inside cake and confectionery.


My hot beverage of choice is tea but lately I've been going off it so perhaps I need to give it another go, maybe my palate has matured and coffee isn't for mugs after all.


UPDATE:  We visited civilisation this morning and, after a bit of coaxing from Mr Right, I was very brave and tried a small coffee with skimmed milk, chocolate and caramel from Costa, I'm not sure what the coffee-speak name for this concoction is but I will admit that it was particularly yummy, I may now be a convert.  Mr Right was happy yet dismissive - it wasn't, after all, a proper hardcore coffee and he could also see that his Costa bill was probably going to double from now on!!!





Thursday, 25 November 2010

Being Boring

This poem by Wendy Cope has been on my kitchen wall for a number of years as I think that, thankfully, it sums up my life perfectly.


This post is also for you Mrs B as I know you aspire to a 'boring' life. x



Being Boring - Wendy Cope
'May you live in interesting times.' Chinese curse
If you ask me 'What's new?', I have nothing to say
Except that the garden is growing.
I had a slight cold but it's better today.
I'm content with the way things are going.
Yes, he is the same as he usually is,
Still eating and sleeping and snoring.
I get on with my work. He gets on with his.
I know this is all very boring.
There was drama enough in my turbulent past:
Tears and passion - I've used up a tankful.
No news is good news, and long may it last,
If nothing much happens, I'm thankful.
A happier cabbage you never did see,
My vegetable spirits are soaring.
If you're after excitement, steer well clear of me.
I want to go on being boring.
I don't go to parties. Well, what are they for,
If you don't need to find a new lover?
You drink and you listen and drink a bit more
And you take the next day to recover.
Someone to stay home with was all my desire
And, now that I've found a safe mooring,
I've just one ambition in life: I aspire
To go on and on being boring.

Wednesday, 24 November 2010

I LoVe Louis

At present I'm compiling a list of things I love and things I hate.  I decided that one of my 'loves' required a post all its own...Louis Vuitton.


I have loved Louis Vuitton since before I even knew what it was.  As a child I saw a woman with a bag in the Monogram print and it stuck in my memory ever since.  I got my first bag almost ten years ago, a much-loved Alma (a Christmas present from the ever-generous Mr Right).  This was back in the days before rap stars had cheapened luxury brands like Louis Vuitton and Burberry and it went everywhere with me.


My next purchase was a matching purse (not very stylish to pull out a crappy old purse from a lovely designer handbag, so it was a must - well, that was my excuse anyway!).  Then Buster came along and my parents were living in Paris at the time so the first time I visited them I bought a strap for the Alma from the LV concession in Printemps.  This was a necessity as the Alma has quite small handles and it was tricky to hold whilst pushing a buggy (more excuses!).  


When Buster started walking and I decided that I required a bag I could get into quickly for small toy cars, tissues and biscuits so I opted for the mailbag style Musette Salsa, which still gets the most use of all my collection.


My next investment was obtained in the flagship LV store on the Champs Elysees during another visit to my parents in Paris.  I had decided to reward myself for going to the gym for a whole year and losing all my baby weight (and a substantial amount more!) by treating myself to a gym/weekend bag.  


When I returned to the UK I purchased a small pouch that I used briefly as an evening bag but that was quickly relegated to use inside my gym bag (it had a detachable strap that fixed to a hook inside the larger bag) as I had made my final pair of purchases of an evening bag (with a beautiful raspberry red interior) and a small purse to go inside it.


My love affair with Louis is far from over, although I have had to draw in my (luxury) purse strings since the wee ones have come along and haven't made any new additions to my collection for a few years now, but that doesn't mean I don't have my beady eye on the next member of my LV family.


I love the whole celebrity-for-a-day experience of going to get a new item, the shops have super helpful staff, security guards and even people to open doors for you, everything comes in dust bags and gets wrapped and parcelled up in wonderful 'Pretty Woman' style shopping bags.  I love the quality, serial numbers and the fact that all my bags and purses match and are interchangeable (great for my OCD).  I also love the fact that I don't have to buy loads of cheaper bags with the passing trends as Louis Vuitton is timeless.  In short I LOVE LOUIS!
Mr Right made me stand like this for
ages pretending the camera wasn't working
I know they are expensive but to me they are an investment and think of all the money I haven't had to spend over the last ten years on cheaper, less well-made trendy bags (that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it). 
My collection (so far!)

Monday, 22 November 2010

Cakey, Cakey! - Hummingbird Bakery Red Velvet Cake

I've been meaning to make a Red Velvet cake for ages, ever since I first saw it used on Cupcake Wars on The Food Network, it seems to be a firm favourite with Americans and there was a recipe in the Hummingbird Bakery Cookbook, so, as it was a rainy November afternoon (like I needed an excuse!) I decided to give it a whirl.


For those that have never heard of it, it's a sponge cake that's deep scarlet in colour but, as it contains cocoa powder, has a hidden chocolate kick.  The batter looked like an unctuous ruby river as I poured it between the two tins (I'm assuming the texture was due to the addition of the white vinegar and buttermilk).  When it emerged from the oven it was a lovely bouncy burgundy sponge.


I decided that it definitely required the cream cheese frosting, something that I have never tried before but I was so glad that I did because it turns out the sponge is only there as a vehicle for the frosting.
Buster didn't like the frosting, he can't be my child!  The only misgiving I have about this cake is the sheer amount of red food colouring that went into it (20ml!), I was a little worried that I might be eating the culinary equivalent of disclosing tablets and would be wandering around with red teeth after consumption!

Saturday, 20 November 2010

Back-Comb-Over

I must be getting old because I keep seeing teenage girls sporting what seem to be back-combed comb-overs.  They all look like the bastard child of Amy Winehouse and Donald Trump.  I bet sales of Elnet and Kirby Grips haven't been this high since the 1960s!
It was poodle perms when I was their age and my Dad used to say that my sister and I looked like an explosion in a mattress factory.  Then there was the infamous Rat's Tail trend (why did nobody stop us and say, 'hey, you look like a Hillbilly!').  I have finally reached that age where I don't understand the current trend.  The look is akin to an ill-fitting wig that's slipped forward over their forehead and I really wouldn't be at all surprised to see a bird or small rodent living in one of those nests perched on the front of their heads.


They roam around shopping centres like giant tumbleweeds (probably held together by the Velcro effect of their combined hairballs), they all seem to shop in Hollister and, out of curiosity, I actually ventured into one of those stores a couple of weeks ago and thought there had been a power cut.  The place was so dark, only lit by the odd low ceiling light (how on earth can you choose items of clothing in a nightclub?).  There were tables all over the place (I know this because, due to the darkness, I walked into a couple of them), you'd never get a buggy in but I suppose that's the point, people like me aren't supposed to shop in there, are they?  What better way of getting the message across that 'YOU'RE TOO OLD!' than making the shop inaccessible to buggy-wielding thirty-somethings with failing eyesight?



Friday, 19 November 2010

Nitty Gritty

Today a letter came home from Buster's school explaining that there had been a head lice outbreak amongst some of the children and requesting everyone check and, if necessary, treat those affected.  


We get one of these letters home at least once a term along with a helpful leaflet on what to look for and how to go about treating it if you are unlucky enough to find them.  So far we have been very lucky indeed and whenever we get one of these letters home I spray Buster's hair with Head Lice Prevention/Protection Spray from Boots, just for piece of mind.  


Every time we get one of those letters I end up spending the entire evening itching and getting Mr Right to check me, as if we were Gorillas grooming one another.
Thankfully I haven't found any unwelcome visitors on this occasion but it hasn't stopped me itching all evening!

Jewellery Boxes Hold More Than Just Gems

Missy received two jewellery boxes as gifts from friends for her birthday, they are both beautiful and I'm sure she'll love keeping any future treasures she might be lucky enough to receive in them but to me, and the people that gave them, they hold so much more than gems.


The first box was a gorgeous pink one, purchased by Mrs B and it wasn't until she got it home that she realised that it plays 'Somewhere, Over The Rainbow', a song that has deep sentimental meaning for her as it was the song that her mother, now sadly departed, used to sing to Mrs B's two boys when they were tiny.  Special to me as it was the song that my aunt chose as the final one of her funeral.


The second box was delivered by Mrs C and, as Missy was napping at the time of her visit, she urged me to open it on her behalf.  As soon as I did it took my breath away, I haven't experienced a moment like it, ever.  I opened the packaging and there inside was the exact same jewellery box that my grandfather had bought me when I was about 7 years old!  


I didn't even dare to think that they would actually still make it, but they do, I assume Trousselier are the same company that manufactured my jewellery box almost 30 years ago and this was where my friend had purchased this one.  She had had the same box during her childhood (was there only one jewellery box style in production during the 1980s?) and had purchased one for her daughter.  My sister had spotted it at her house and was in raptures over it, so that was when Mrs C decided to get one for Missy.


I was happy on two levels, the first being the lovely trip down memory lane that it had provided and the second was the fact that I could keep my original jewellery box for me (yes, I still have it!) and that Missy now had a matching replica that she can use to contain her own memories.
My original on the left and Missy's new on the right
Wonderful memories held in gifts like these are so much more precious than any trinket or bauble that they could ever contain.

Thursday, 18 November 2010

I'm Flamingo-ing Crazy

I love a Flamingo, (to quote Napoleon Dynamite) it's pretty much my favourite animal.  I think I might even have been one in a previous life, but that's a whole other blog post!


I have plastic flamingo lights around my dressing table mirror, a flamingo print t-shirt, I also have a diamante flamingo brooch on my leopard print faux fur coat and now I am the proud owner of Floyd
Pink Floyd the Flamingo
Floyd is how all real flamingos should be, he's Barbie pink, pearlescent and super glittery.  Mr Right despairs of my flamingo obsession and thought I'd lost the plot as he spotted me wandering around Paperchase with Floyd in my hot little hand 'you're not actually going to buy that are you?!'


No offence to Floyd but I'm already eyeing my next possible flamingo purchase, this gorgeous cushion from John Lewis, although at £25 it might be one for my Christmas wish list!
Hope it's not stuffed with real flamingo feathers!
I would really love one of those 1950s pink plastic flamingo lawn ornaments that they seemed to love in Florida but quite what I'd do with it when I got it I have no idea.

Cakey, Cakey! - Missy's 1st Birthday Cake

I've mentioned that it was Missy's first birthday this week and I decided to make her a Lau Lau and Narabug from Waybuloo cake, so here it is
I've blurred out Missy's name to the right,
it's not my rubbish icing skills, it's my limited photo editing software!
Anyway, she seemed to love and as did Buster (he bagsy'd the Narabug) and it tasted ok too, so, just like Lau Lau, I'm a happy bunny.

One Is Fun!



Missy turned one on Tuesday and she seems to have grown up so much just since that day.  


We had a wonderful morning opening presents and cards and then had some relatives over for tea and cake.  It was during the evening celebrations that Missy decided to wow us all by taking her first unaided steps.  It was too magical and ever since that moment she's no longer a baby and is now a toddler.  


She got a play handbag for her birthday and pretends to put the lipstick and the bangle that came with it on, she loves pushing the pram we got her around and pretends to answer her phone and drinks pretend tea from a toy teacup with a slurp.  She knows where her biscuits are kept and points to the tin and then to me to indicate that she'd like one.  


I don't know where the last 365 days have gone but they've gone way too fast.  My kids need to slow down, my head is spinning but I'm sure looking forward to the next 365 days and beyond!

The Scale Of Excess Baggage

I was flicking through one of those Innovations-type catalogues the other day when I came across an ad for a Travel Baggage Scale. Wouldn't it be ironic if your return journey baggage was overweight due to the additional weight of the travel baggage scale - do you have to know how much it weighs and add that on???
I've taken out the travel baggage scale, 
let's weigh it again, I'm sure it will be under this time!

Hello Shitty!

About fifteen years ago I used to love Hello Kitty, this was back in the days where pretty much the only place you could get anything with that cute little cat on it was Hamleys, and even they only had a small display of imported items, now it's all over the place, I can't get away from it and the novelty is starting to wear off.  She was my discovery all those years ago and now every Tom-cat and Harry has her plastered all over everything *pouty face*


H & M seem to be the main culprits.  I adore their clothes and the odd item with Hello Kitty is lovely but you can barely buy a top in the girl's section without her soul-less, black, overworked eyes staring out at you from it, pleading with you to free her from her sell-out slavery.  She looks knackered, I think she could use a holiday, she could pack her Hello Kitty clothes in her Hello Kitty suitcase and board her Hello Kitty jet and fly off to her Hello Kitty shaped island getaway for a few years and come back when she's refreshed and everyone else has forgotten about her and I will welcome her back with open arms and we can be besties once again, but until then I shall have to content myself with the next big thing..."what is it?" I hear you ask...wait fifteen years and you'll find out!
If H & M made houses...

Not Too, Dry, Dry...

I don't think I blow-dried Missy's hair well enough last night before bed, she woke up this morning looking like Limahl!


Limahl's hair actually looks flat in comparison to Missy's today!





Monday, 15 November 2010

Larder Ardour - My Mate Marmite

There seems to be a lot going on in the world of Marmite of late.  I've been meaning to post about it for some time but it's one of those products you just take for granted (like air!).  


Recently friends have started raving about products containing it (rice cakes, cereal bars, bread sticks and mini cheddars) and Mr Right spotted some aged Marmite (Marmite XO - Extra Old) but was sceptical about it being aged four times as long and just wondered if there was a batch that was long forgotten about in a cellar somewhere that needed flogging.


Today I was wandering through BHS and spotted a whole section of Marmite merchandise for the Christmas market, there were tins, lunch boxes, cookery books, Andy Warhol-esque canvasses and even Marmite flavoured chocolate!


I'm old skool when it comes to yeast extract, it's great on toast, fab in a bog-standard sandwich and just magic between two slabs of white bread and joined between those downy covers by some generous slices of cheddar cheese.  That is all!

SPAM Fritter V's Spam Filter

I wonder, do the manufacturers of SPAM mind that the name of their product is used to describe all the crap you don't want to read?  Are the geeks implying that the product is made of rubbish or have the makers of SPAM cleverly cut a deal with the geeks for some subliminal advertising, indeed is this blogpost actually secretly sponsored by SPAM or is it just spam (ie crap you don't want to read - well, too late!)?


Whilst I'm on the subject of processed meat, don't you just hate ham 'fat windows'?

Friday, 12 November 2010

Carrier Bag Lady

This week I have visited a supermarket twice, on both occasions I have forgotten my shopping bags, I wouldn't mind but I have a huge collection of carrier bags at home (and I certainly don't need to add to it), which I finally sorted by size a couple of months back, here's the devastation mid sort
Bag Lady porn?!
Jesus Christ I need to get out more (and remember to take my shopping bags with me when I go!).


I'm sure that none of these lovely people are bag ladies (and gents) but British Mummy Bloggers have set up a Blog Hop this month to highlight those new (and not so new) to the weird and wonderful world of Mummy Blogging, so do yourself a favour and take a look, you never know what gems you might find!

Blind To Political Correctness?

When I was updating my post about Board Books I was put in mind of one of the early reading books that Buster bought home from school way back in Year 1, I was so astounded by the last page's lack of political correctness that I actually went to the trouble of scanning it in

Push! Push! Wait, I Can See The Meathead

I love people-watching.  Today I have observed scenes akin to a woman being helped through a difficult labour by a doula, where I hear you ask?  In the Meathead area of my gym. 


The grunting and sweating accompanied by shouts of encouragement to one muscle-bound freak from a group of fellow carpet carriers almost bought a tear to my eye.


Speaking of the gym, I recently lamented on Facebook that after yet another successful free-weights session I had decided not to continue fighting nature and give up running in favour of power-lifting, after all I already have the physique of a Hungarian shot-putter so should be an easy transition.  
I wish I actually looked this feminine
A friend of mine replied that ironically power-lifting was all about transition.  I messaged back that I only wanted to get into the sport so that I could use words like 'snatch' and 'clean and jerk' although I also wanted to avoid shitting out my own insides.

 

Smart Phone, Not So Smart User

I'm a nerd and I love my iPhone.  I don't know how I survived before it.  I text, phone, Facebook, Tweet, e-mail, game, compile lists, take pictures, record videos, listen to music, surf the net and blog all from a device that's a quarter of the size of my first walkman.  
No wonder there wasn't a childhood obesity problem during
the 1980s when we were all lugging these massive bastards around!
However, I use it too much, I know this for two reasons, I have developed a weak right wrist due to the cack-handed way I hold it whilst typing one-handed on its miniscule screen and I was flicking through a paper copy of the Boden catalogue a while back and really liked the look of one of their dresses but couldn't quite make out the pattern of the fabric and tried to enlarge it using my finger and thumb, what a bell end!
Boden need to bring out an app to cater for morons like me!





Thursday, 11 November 2010

Lest We Forget

For all those that gave their tomorrow for our today, lest we forget

If I should die, think only this of me: 

That there's some corner of a foreign field 
That is forever England. There shall be 
In that rich earth a richer dust concealed; 
A dust whom England bore, shaped, made aware, 
Gave, once, her flowers to love, her ways to roam; 
A body of England's, breathing English air, 
Washed by the rivers, blest by suns of home. 
And think, this heart, all evil shed away, 
A pulse in the eternal mind, no less 
Gives somewhere back the thoughts by England given; 
Her sights and sounds; dreams happy as her day; 
And laughter, learnt of friends; and gentleness, 
In hearts at peace, under an English heaven.


The Soldier by Rupert Brooke 


Wednesday, 10 November 2010

I Don't Mind Looking Like A Moo-Moo In A Muumuu

This week I have claimed that I am not a slob.  I can understand that some of you might not be convinced as I have also posted about my lacklustre beauty regime, terrible skin and hair, velour joggers, and disgusting slobby joe.  I will now hammer a further few nails into my style coffin, just by way of getting it all out there, a confessional if you will, just so there are no secrets between us.....right, here goes......I own a muumuu.  There, I said it!


A muumuu, according to Wikipedia, is a loose dress of Hawaiian origin, usually brightly coloured and floral in pattern...they are also popular as maternity gowns and with obese people because they do not restrict the waist. 
The Moo-Moo, Unisexy
A moo-moo, (as I call it, as it makes me look as big as a cow) according to me, is a winceyette-style nightie/tent, floral in pattern and popular with me because it doesn't restrict the waist, not, however, popular with Mr Right.  I think he thinks it should be a recognised form of torture, the wardrobe equivalent of waterboarding, although it could be worse, I could own a Slanket...come to think of it, typing on the laptop once the heating has gone off makes my arms pretty chilly...
At least a Slanket would cover the moo-moo right?!
I first fell in love with the moo-moo 9 years ago when I was expecting Buster and I don't foresee a time when I will fall out of love with it.  Thankfully I am married and Mr Right is stuck with me (and the moo-moo) if I were single I think I would be extremely likely to stay that way, anyway, who needs a relationship when you have a moo-moo, right?!


Mr Right can't complain as he harbours nightwear fantasies of his own, he would dearly love a Onesie (an adult babygrow).  The seed of this idea was planted by this scene in Scrubs



Thankfully for me Mr Right tends to run hot and would be sweltering sleeping in a Onesie, besides where would he possibly get one from right?  I thought I was safe but I did spot some in the women's department of Primark, hopefully they won't be available in the men's department, ever!
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