Monday, 29 November 2010

Money For Velvet Rope

Again I was in Marks and Sparks the other day (I seem to spend my life in there at the moment, unfortunately not for me) and was perusing the cosmetics when the Tess Daly make-up range caught my eye and it got me wondering, when exactly did Ms Daly find the time to study cosmetic production?  Does she have a qualification in this subject, probably not, although I'm sure there are loads of people out there that do and can't get a gig like Marks'.  She probably knows about as much as I do about the subject (ie not much!).

The same goes for the likes of Fearne Cotton (with her make-up range for Boots and clothing line for Very) and Holly Willoughby (with her clothing line also for Very).  It's not like these celebs are actually trained in fashion design but I know there are thousands of very talented people that are.  These celebs might appear in glossy magazines because people admire their style but that's usually because their star is on the rise and everything they wear will be fashionable because, to paraphrase Zoolander, 'they're so hot right now'.  Fearne could emerge from her house wearing a bin bag tomorrow morning and half the teenage population would follow suit.

Myleene Klass and Denise Van Outen are another couple of celebs that have sold their souls, just because you squeeze out a baby doesn't automatically make you an expert on maternity and baby wear.  I know lots of women that have far more maternal experience than either of those women and do they get offered a lucrative contract with Mothercare or Very?  The answer, of course, is no.

I understand that this type of promotion is a marriage made in heaven for companies and celebrities alike but it just seems to me that if you're a popular celebrity you can turn your hand to pretty much anything, you don't have to be an expert and you will be paid royally to do it.  Money for velvet rope!

I just wish that it wasn't all such a lie, you can bet your bottom dollar that Tess doesn't just wear make-up from her Marks and Spencer range and that Fearne and Holly will only wear their Very collections.

And what can I say about the JLS range of condoms?  Am I wrong in thinking that men wear them?  If I was a man, nothing would cool my ardour quicker than Marvin's mug grinning at me from the front of the box.  Puts a whole new slant on the term 'member' of a band!
I didn't know that JLS stood for Johnnies, Lube and Spermicide!

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