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Monday, 8 November 2010

Beauty, It's A Losing Battle As I'm Such A Beast

By day I'm a member of the 'Drudge Squad' fighting grime and dealing with shit.  By night I'm 'Gym Bunny' fighting flab and old age in a hideous Lycra outfit.  Would love to be 'Glamour Puss', but when, oh yes, in my dreams!

If only I looked this good in Lycra

Since having Missy my beauty regime has taken a back seat, I have had my hair coloured and cut once since her birth (she's one next week!).
Albert has way better hair than me at present

My skin is appalling, if it's not erupting into Mount Vesuvius on my forehead (as it did a fortnight ago - I was forced to wear a hat for the public's protection) it's blotchy and not to mention wrinkled.  It seems worse now than when I was a teenager.  I think there was a week in about 2007 that my skin looked blemish-free and radiant but sadly I think I was probably having a bad hair week during that brief moment of dermatological glory.
Just call me Pizza Face
It's getting so bad that I am considering drastic action, I was cleaning the bathroom the other day and I was seriously wondering whether or not Cillit Bang Grime and Lime would make a suitable improvised chemical peel.
Bang! And the skin is gone

I finally tackled my unabrow after weeks of neglect, I knew it was time when someone asked me if Noel and I would ever reform Oasis.


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