Saturday, 20 November 2010


I must be getting old because I keep seeing teenage girls sporting what seem to be back-combed comb-overs.  They all look like the bastard child of Amy Winehouse and Donald Trump.  I bet sales of Elnet and Kirby Grips haven't been this high since the 1960s!
It was poodle perms when I was their age and my Dad used to say that my sister and I looked like an explosion in a mattress factory.  Then there was the infamous Rat's Tail trend (why did nobody stop us and say, 'hey, you look like a Hillbilly!').  I have finally reached that age where I don't understand the current trend.  The look is akin to an ill-fitting wig that's slipped forward over their forehead and I really wouldn't be at all surprised to see a bird or small rodent living in one of those nests perched on the front of their heads.

They roam around shopping centres like giant tumbleweeds (probably held together by the Velcro effect of their combined hairballs), they all seem to shop in Hollister and, out of curiosity, I actually ventured into one of those stores a couple of weeks ago and thought there had been a power cut.  The place was so dark, only lit by the odd low ceiling light (how on earth can you choose items of clothing in a nightclub?).  There were tables all over the place (I know this because, due to the darkness, I walked into a couple of them), you'd never get a buggy in but I suppose that's the point, people like me aren't supposed to shop in there, are they?  What better way of getting the message across that 'YOU'RE TOO OLD!' than making the shop inaccessible to buggy-wielding thirty-somethings with failing eyesight?

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